Old Spice Creates New Dungeons And Dragons Class, Breaks The Internet
Wizards of the Coast, eat your collective hearts out. Cologne and deodorant company Old Spice has just dropped a helluva bombshell in the form of a new Dungeons and Dragons class, proving once and for all that the company will go to any length to ensure that as many people smell like Old Spice as humanly possible. The announcement was made via the Old Spice Twitter account, where it revealed that the new Dungeons and Dragons class is called the ‘Old Spice Gentleman/Gentle-Lady’.
Download this new Old Spice Gentleman Class for the greatest role playing game of all time, which we cannot mention for legal reasons, to fulfill that fantasy dream you have always had since reading this post. https://t.co/sz1D2hMMm9 pic.twitter.com/f7KsKE6aiQ
— Old Spice (@OldSpice) February 7, 2018
Seen above, the Tweet includes a link to a downloadable four page PDF file that contains all the details for the new class, and it turns out that the Old Spice Gentleman/Gentle-lady is essentially an overpowered Bard. Following the amusing summary the Gentleman is revealed to be in possession of over 20 Class Skills (because Bard), with the only real notable downside of the class being that they must follow the Gentleman’s Code, meaning that a Gentleman or Gentle-Lady cannot attack a member of the opposite sex first. Should a Gentleman or Gentle-Lady break the Gentleman’s Code, they are stripped of all skill and class features until atoning, which involves carrying a humanoid member of the opposite sex for a full day.
To no one’s surprise, the Old Spice Dungeons and Dragons class features a ludicrous set of abilities, all of which in one way or another will likely infuriate the designated DM (Dungeon Master). The final ability is learned at level 20, wherein the Gentleman or Gentle-Lady ascends to a higher plane of existence and can now privately speak to the DM in order to make anything explode at will. For those looking to drive their local DM crazy, the Gentleman/Gentle-Lady class is compatible with the “3.5” edition of D&D, though don’t let that stop you from achieving your dreams. Now all we need is a live broadcast of Terry Crews DM’ing a group of nothing but Gentlemen and Gentle-Ladies. Make it happen Old Spice.
So, thoughts on the new Old Spice Dungeons and Dragons class? Plan on implementing it into a new or on-going game? Let us know in the comments section below, and as always, stay tuned to Don’t Feed the Gamers for all the latest gaming and entertainment news! Don’t forget to follow DFTG on Twitter for our 24/7 news feed!
Ryan "Cinna" Carrier731 Posts
When he isn't reading and writing, Ryan ponders the mysterious, undocumented relationship between Chocobos and Moogles. He's also the DFTG cinnamon bun.