Mario Kart Now Trending Worldwide Thanks To President Trump’s Penis
Well, this is certainly not the kind of news everyone is looking for, but it’s happening and the internet can’t turn back now. Thanks to a certain Stormy Daniels, an intrepid woman with ties back to President Donald Trump, and her recently published book, there’s some dirt to dish about the current head of the United States. And yes, it has everything and nothing to do with Nintendo’s Mario Kart franchise. For that, we apologize for any unwanted imagery.
In an excerpt from Daniels autobiographical book titled “Full Disclosure,” there are some choice words about a certain president’s nether regions. In it reveals Donald Trump’s particular shape, an object that Daniels had the opportunity to fondle first-hand. It turns out there are some similarities between that and one of the purest characters from the Mario Kart franchise. Toad. The excerpt reads:
He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
Of course, the internet is simultaneously scarred from the visuals and creasing from laughter. Some of the reactions from bewildered netizens are most notably the ones we’ve collected below:
As of today, I’m not going to look at #MarioKart the same way as before. @StormyDaniels about #Trump d1ck: “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f*cked by a guy with a d1ck like the mushroom character in Mario Kart”.
Blast from the past: pic.twitter.com/ZbzDL15Uo5
— Takis Karagiannis (@T_Karagiannis) September 18, 2018
— Dr. Dena Grayson (@DrDenaGrayson) September 18, 2018
— Dιɾƚ Wιȥαɾԃ (@The_Dirt_Wizard) September 18, 2018
MARIO KART IS TRENDING OMG I BET A NEW GAME IS COMI… pic.twitter.com/qWImljDdsg
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) September 18, 2018
“Donald Trump’s penis is shaped like a mushroom from Mario kart”
*sets fire to phone*
*launches phone into fucking pluto*
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) September 18, 2018
When I read why Mario Kart is trending pic.twitter.com/wENKH2dfdt
— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) September 18, 2018
Unfortunately, there isn’t a new Mario Kart game incoming, but something certainly is. At this time, Nintendo has not disclosed any public acknowledgement of Mario Kart’s trending status, but hey – it’s free publicity. The only downside? Most people don’t want their game to be associated with a phallic object. We can only hope this doesn’t ruin Toad’s image.
Passing on a question to you, does this entice you to play some Mario Kart? There’s a stellar version available for the Nintendo Switch. Obviously, the best character is none other than Toad, am I right? Let us know what you think in the comments section below or start a conversation on DFTG Facebook page. To stay up to date on gaming news as it happens, follow us on Twitter! Here’s some of our latest:
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Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is available now to play exclusively on the Nintendo Switch.
Hoi Duong2079 Posts
Hoi is an elusive figure at DFTG, whose favorite past-times include chillin' in the Fade, reading manga, watching anime, collecting novelty items, and gaming.